All it takes is one thing. One small item. A smell. A picture. A movie. A favorite food. Driving by their favorite restaurant. That one piece of mail, five years later…
…these reminders of our loved ones abound and sneak in at the most unpredictable moments. Do we want to forget? Never! But those unexpected, unassigned, unscheduled, grief triggers(like that one piece of mail, I received the other day, YEARS later) can simply crush me for the day. That damned, one piece of mail!
You WILL laugh again. I promise. I didn’t think I would ever be able to even smile again, let alone let out an audible laugh! Time is on our side in some aspects of grief. But wait—time means they get further away, and maybe I won’t remember their face anymore!
No, dear one. You won’t forget them. But the more distance we put between ourselves and the initial pain of grief, the more time that passes, our minds do dare to hope that it might not hurt quite so badly as it used to. Oh, how is that possible? IF it doesn’t hurt as bad, that means I’m forgetting him.
No, no, no. This is a lie. Don’t let your brain trick you! It’s all in your hands. We can dare to move forward, through the gnarly forest of grief, toward a more beautiful tomorrow! It’s ok. You have permission to mourn, and permission to laugh again. Tom Zuba has a book by that very title that has helped me throughout this journey. Check out this video for a look at his message.